Okay, in my further search for weird styles of dance on the internet, I’ve come across some more I would like to showcase. I will do so. Now.
Jumpstyle
Jumpstyle is a dance and music genre. Jumpstyle consists of loud distorted bass drum and circus music. Jumpstyle dancing involves…jumping, with style.
Shuffling
Think of doing the most hardcore roger rabbit ever. That is shuffling. Wait, no. Think of the most hardcore roger rabbit, WHILE wearing wide cuffed pants. THAT is shuffling.
There seems to be a rivalry between Shuffling and Jump Style. I found several videos titled “Jumpstyle Vs. Shuffling” when looking this up. They’re both in competition for the Most Ridiculous Way to Dance to Obnoxious Music.
Hakken
Alright, if you think that the last two were pretty bad, brace yourself. This is called Hakken. Invented by the Dutch, it is both the easiest to perform AND the easiest to ridicule. Let me do both right now.
How to dance in the Hakken style (a guide.)
Step 1. Jog in place to the beat.
These dances are further proof that in order to find my fortune, I should spend far less time working on music, and more time coming up with a way to dance to my music. Then, when you turn that dance into an internet pissing content, I can sit back and watch the cash flow in. Go me.